She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
