If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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