Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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