road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
