shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize