i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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