Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize