bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
