mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When are your genitals available?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
