She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
