Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
