everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
