i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
