let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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