who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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