The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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