i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize