you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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