Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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