She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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