Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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