she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think your dad took our porno
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
