my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Mom said you looked used
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
