no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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