You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
