In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
