We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
