maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
