Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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