He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize