my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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