Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
