Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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