I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
