I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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