Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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