No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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