She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
