Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
