We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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