Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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