I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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