Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize