Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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