dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
did i walk over a car last night?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize