But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
vagina is talking i cant
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
