Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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