I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
