remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
