He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
