I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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