Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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