you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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