You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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