No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
