I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
