Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
