omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
