did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Green mimosas i think yes
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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