just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
