If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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