Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's Friday. Sex?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize