I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My vagina is very pro this idea
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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