oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
