I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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